Wierd

So first thing tomorrow morning the fam and I will be going to St George. We are going to go a visit my dad... You know I never really thought that I would end up saying that sentance. Pretty much all my life I have avoided my father because of things he has done to our family. I am trying to convince myself that 10 years in the slammer can make a changed man. I really hope so anyway. If any of you have grown up and didnt have a father in the house, it really makes for a strange childhood. Mostly because there is less order and things go chaotic more often. This is the way me and my bro and sis were brought up. I guess I turned out ok, but there are far more messed up people out there. So yeah, I started talking to my dad again about 2 months ago. So far he seems pretty nice and so on, but just like a new relationship, you want to start slow and work you way into it. I am trying to be very cautious about how much I/we put ourselfs out there for this relationship. I guess I just want a dad again. I was deprived of that growing up and I am sure it has caused me problems in my life I wouldnt have had if I did, but then again, I might have been in a whole other mess of things. I cant change what has passed so I have no choice to deal with the aftermath. I suppose in a couple of years that things might be a little better, but I dont see that happening for like 10-15 years down the line. Do you think I am just being too cautious? Am I being a wimp about this? I am not sure how to react to the situation as I havent had a father figure in like 15 years. I really want to get to know him, but at the same time I dont want to. I will say this though, he seems to be more intested in trying to get to know us and spend time with us than even my mom. She is really distant and doesnt really do much to let us know she still cares. I guess eitherway you look at it, I have a pretty screwed up family.

Back to the good news... I will be going to St George! I plan on going all over the place down there, but the problem is that I will have a couple of time constraints. Rachel will be singing at a performance down there on Sunday. It will be at the church at 82 N Dixie Drive at 6:00pm. Doyle, I know you will be down there. Stop by if you want. I will be driving back as soon as the performance is done. Then get ready for work and off to another week. Well, Later all.